By Maria Cortes
I hate bullies. I understand that “hate” is a very strong word, and as a rather friendly and lovable person it’s odd for me to say it, but it’s true. I hate bullies. Over the weekend I became aware of a 14-year old boy from Buffalo named Jamey Rodemeyer, who committed suicide because he was constantly being harassed both online and at school. Eventually, Jamey took his own life in a final attempt to make it all stop.
I say final attempt because it wasn’t the first time that he had tried to make his torment end. At first, Jamey tried to find comfort in his friends and family; he even made a video for the popular anti-bullying movement, the It Gets Better Project. He found a brief escape in the music of his favorite pop artist Lady Gaga. Through her music, he was empowered to love himself more and more every day. This small bit of salvation, however, came too late.
Rodemeyer’s mother, Tracy, believed that most of the bullying revolved around her son’s sexual orientation, and his idolization of Lady Gaga for her powerful lyrics. Rodemeyer’s mother announced to the media that she would be burying her son in a shirt that read, “Born This Way,” after the pop star’s hit single of the same name. Bullying does not prefer any specific age, race, or sexual orientation. Everyone, even the most popular people you know, can be subject to bullying. Shirley Robinson and Leonardo Borrero, students here at AVC, remember being bullied at a very young ages. “I started being bullied when I was around seven. I would get teased because my mom had died, which was twice as cruel,” Robinson said. Borrero, on the other hand, had her own problems.“I would say my bullying started when I came to the United States; so since the third grade. I was probably being bullied because I was from another country and I was smaller than everybody else.”
Robinson admits that she still gets bullied to this day, but that she just doesn’t let it bother her as much anymore. “I totally understand where those kids were coming from,” she replied when asked about her thoughts on all the recent suicides. “It is hard to deal with that on a daily basis. I was at that point in my life where I didn’t want to live because of the things that were happening to me. But God didn’t want me to go just yet, and I’m glad that I am here because I can try to make a change about it all.”
“I grew up and learned how to cope to those things,” Borrero said. “Words didn’t hurt me, and I stayed away from people that would rather push me than shake my hand.” He believes that kids, and people in general, need to realize that you are stronger by not acting back. Violence against others and, more specifically, violence against yourself doesn’t solve anything. It just causes pain in the lives of those who love you and value your life.
Ashley Caldwell, a 20-year old student at Riverside Community College, was brave enough to open up to me about her high school bullying incidents in the hopes that she would be able to bring awareness towards this cause. “I was 15 and a freshman in high school when I started getting bullied,” she said. “I believe it was because of the way my friends and I looked. I was what you would call an emo kid. I’m also guessing the fact that we were freshmen played a factor in it too.”
Caldwell remembers two very distinct incidents in high school that made her the anti-bullying advocate that she is today. She remembers getting picked on by a group of upperclassmen who would throw things like ice and food at her and her friends. Another time, during her physical education class, a group of boys that used to be her close friends threw footballs at her and her friend, hitting them in the back of the head and back.
Both times she found that standing up for herself, in a non-violent way, put an end to her bullying. “That’s the way to do it,” she said. “Don’t sink to their level, but being able to show them that you’re not afraid and standing your ground may be able to help.”
“When it comes to children who get bullied into suicide because of their sexual orientation, I really get upset, said Caldwell. “Not so much at the bullies than the parents of the bullies. Those parents either put so much hatred in those kids’ hearts when it comes to homosexuality, or they didn’t teach their kids that being homophobic is basically the same as being racist.”
She continued to say that those children’s suicides show the terrible impression that humanity is making. “They’ll never be able to travel the world or experience all of life’s mystery and wonder, because someone decided to show them so much hatred that it clouded their idea of what the world was. It made them think that all the world held was hatred, depression and worthlessness.”
The general consensus between the three college students was that everybody needs to take a stand when it comes down to bullying. All it can take is a conversation or simply being there for your students if you feel like something is wrong. Or, you can join the many people who are petitioning to have a Zero-Tolerance policy enforced in every school around the country. It is time to stop expecting other people to solve the problem.
There are literally dozens of organizations that you can become a part of to do your part in stopping this epidemic; programs such as Youth Frontiers, Make Beats not Beat Downs, Stomp Out Bullying and the Trevor Project are all devoted to helping those children and teens in need of a helping hand.
Please, do your part in preventing the loss of another life.
